By Serena Bernthal-Jones
“I didn’t see that at the breakfast station,” my friend remarks, gazing longingly at my plate as I take a seat across from her. An open-faced English muffin, toasted to perfection and topped with creamy pesto, freshly sliced tomato, and a runny egg stares back at me. Dare I deem it yolk porn? On my friend’s plate sits a cold, overcooked, off-yellow lump of what appears to be some distant relative of an egg, a disgrace to the scramble itself.
Let’s face it: Dining halls are rarely known for their high cuisine. Eggs are some of the worst offenders, often prepared in mass quantities and left sitting out for hours. To avoid the breakfast blues that many students experience, I have adapted a simple guide to creating a breakfast sandwich, using only ingredients pilfered from the dining hall. Freshman, listen closely, because this may change your entire college dining experience. I have inserted a series of notes in the instructions, offering insider knowledge from my two years working as the dining halls.
The star of this recipe is really “the egg lady,” the dining hall chef whose sole job in the morning is to fill egg order for students. Many students do not know about her, or do not want to wait the extra 5 minutes, instead choosing to mindlessly fill their plates before rushing off to class. The trick, however, is to arrive at the dining hall during a lull. This will most often occur early in the morning, right when the dining hall opens at 7:30 AM, or immediately after a class begins, at 8:30 AM and 9:50 AM. Note, however, that the egg lady will often fill her last order around 9:45 AM, so you may run the risk of missing out if you sleep too late.
The works, ready to be assembled
Serves 1
2 eggs, made to order
1 whole wheat English muffin, toasted
2 tablespoons pesto
½ tomato, sliced
1. Arrive at the Language and Dining Center (LDC), swiping your OneCard as you enter. (Note: Please be aware of your meal plan and the number of swipes remaining.)
2. Walk directly to the “Cucina Breakfast Station”. Do not be lured in by the convenience of the premade eggs sitting at the adjoining station. Trust me.
3. Order your eggs using a blank order form from the basket on the far left of the station. Write your name in erasable marker at the top of the page. Below your name, circle the in the desired quantity of eggs and how done you desire them (soft, medium, or hard). (Note: If you become friends with the chef, you can write in “poached” if you so desired and she will most often satisfy your request, time permitting). Finish off your order with a personal touch, such as “Thanks :)” or “Have a good day!” It makes a difference.
4. While you wait for your order to come out, walk to the far back corner of the dining hall, behind the salad bar, where you will find the bread and toaster. Remove a single English muffin from the breadbox. Slice, using the bagel slicer. Insert sliced English muffin into the toaster, turning heat dial to medium-high.
5. Remove toasted English muffin from the toaster. Place on a clean plate.
6. Walk to the salad bar. Coat the English muffin with pesto, topping with sliced tomato. (Note: This station is often covered with plastic in the morning, as it technically does not open until lunch. Kindly ask the worker at the salad bar if you can quickly grab something from under it, and they most certainly will not object. I have yet to be turned away.)
7. Check on the status of your eggs. It should take between 5 – 8 minutes, depending on time of morning. Your plate will come out with your order card next to it. Make sure you do not take some else’s order. It’s bad form.
8. If your eggs are still not done, take this time to make yourself cup of coffee or tea.
9. When your egg order is ready, take your plate of eggs and your plate of ingredients back to your seat.
10. Carefully transfer the cooked eggs from their plate to top the English muffin. Enjoy open or closed-faced, accepting compliments from your friends as they gaze wistfully at your unique creation.
* This recipe is designed specifically for Carleton students eating at the Carleton College Language and Dining Center, located in Northfield, Minnesota. Note that it can be easily replicated at Burton Dining Center and similar dining halls throughout the country.
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